What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Why is dating so frustrating and difficult for a guy?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

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But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Which is a good budget sunscreen for my oily skin?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Have you ever had a weird experience immediately following the death of a loved one that made you think there is an afterlife and that the deceased person was communicating with you?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

How can a 54-year-old man build muscle without using steroids?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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Make Nazis afraid again!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Having read so much about Archie and Lilibet not actually existing, does anyone have any proof that they not only exist but that Meghan gave birth to them?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

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Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!